Do The Thing

Some people just naturally do the thing, whatever it is. I call them, “doers.” My husband is a doer. He wanted to build a murphy bed so he showed me a kit he found online. Within a day he’d ordered the kit, and within another day a bunch of lumber and boxes appeared in my […]

When ADHD Runs In The Family

When ADHD runs in the family things are never boring. You hear all manner of colorful conversations at family gatherings. Take this one from a few months ago between my brother and myself. “Liz, those pills aren’t fixing anything. It’s basically a crutch.” When he said the words to me I felt like I had […]

The Good Kind Of Lazy

Lazy is a word I hear a lot. ADHD adults are often mislabeled as lazy, so much so it’s a bit of a trigger word. Knowing everything I do about executive functions, I’ve still described myself this way. I don’t dislike the word as much as I used to though, because I now understand that […]

Finding Your ADHD Blind Spots

Finding Your ADHD blind spots is difficult because the very nature of the condition creates the barriers. For example, I have this weird sort of visceral reaction to receiving help or support. When the Hubs offers to help me make scrambled eggs, I immediately think, “I know how to scramble eggs asshole!” But do I? […]

ADHD, Attachment Styles, and Relationships

I’d never considered the complicated nature of ADHD, attachment styles, and relationships until 2016. I’m not a hugger Everyone who knows me is aware of this. I don’t hug anyone except my husband, and he makes me do it as a joke. Two years ago my brother and his wife had the heartbreaking experience of […]

The ADHD and OCD Connection

CW: Eating issues are very common in ADHD women.   If this is a topic that is upsetting to you, feel free to click away. The ADHD – OCD connection is often overlooked. Which sucks because it’s a conversation we need to be having. We talk about ADHD using words like, “control” or even, “manage.” […]

More Time Being, Less Time Doing

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you spent more time being, and less time doing? It’s hard to picture for most of us. ADHD women suffer with a lot of productivity shame. Productivity isn’t a measure of self-worth. Or at least it shouldn’t be. But yet we spend our days DOING. And no […]

The Sigh

You know the sound of the sigh. Like the wind through the trees. It has an energy. It’s the sound of irritation, frustration, judgment. The sigh isn’t just about ADHD, it’s more personal than that. hhhhuuuuuuhhmmm. <lips pressed together.> It’s the sound of my not enoughness for the people around me. The sound my teachers […]

Us and Them

There’s a constant low level friction between us and them. Them being people who do not have ADHD, or choose to believe that anyone with a brain-based difference can simply, “work harder” and everything will be fine. Most of the people that expect us to work harder do so because they find our differences inconvenient. […]