How To Shine A Spotlight On The People That Matter To You

how to shine a spotlight on the people that matter to you

***This post was written in collaboration with Anagram Interactive.

***For my full disclosure policy click here.

“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.” Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

sisters from another mother

My first semester in college I pledged a sorority. I knew that I valued my friendships with other women, and I was anxious to move on and reinvent myself in a new setting.

During my pledge period I became close with a girl in my class named Melissa*. Her name is changed to protect her identity, of course.

For four years we were basically inseparable.

Yes, we held each other’s hair (as any good sorority girl would) while we vomited.

It was comforting because we both had an awkwardness about us, and our shared insecurities made us soul-sisters. She was the only person who knew I took ADHD medication. I hid it from everyone else.

Every Saturday she would wake me up for brunch in the dining hall and we would drag our hungover college butts to the cafeteria. We enjoyed many moments of confession over cafeteria pancakes.

We also had many moments of silence.

After college, Melissa stayed in the city where we were undergrad while I returned to my hometown. We were able to connect by phone and in person frequently.

We had adventures together. Went to Vegas, ate in fancy restaurants. She dared me to talk to men in bars.

We made each other braver, stronger.

And then it fell apart

Late in 2005 Melissa got a promotion and moved across the country. We were both in relationships, so her boyfriend moved with her. I met him for the first time right before she moved.

The change in our communication wasn’t sudden, it happened gradually.

It’s a strange feeling to wake up one day and realize that the person you shared everything with for years has disappeared from your life. 

I remember the moment I realized we had drifted apart:

We were on the phone talking about our weddings. She was getting married in August, while I was tying the knot in November.

Her fiancé had chosen her wedding party. I barely knew him, so obviously I was not included in his list.

Why would I be?

I was not the best friend anymore

Never taking the time to know the man she was spending her life with had really backfired.

I had not visited her in her new home. I had not kept up my end of the deal when she came to visit me.

Melissa did all the work in our friendship, and I had failed to notice.

Melissa and I are still friends. We communicate via telephone once a year, and we comment on each other’s Facebook photos. Her children are gorgeous.

I love her, I always will.

Our relationship is not the same, but I have learned so much from how it has changed over time.

The women in my life are the reason I am alive. True story.

The real lesson here:

Show your friends how much they mean to you, and you will never regret it.

how to shine a spotlight

on the people that matter to you


I refuse to let another friendship slip through my fingers.

So I am doing the only thing I (sort of) know how to do. I am toasting the women who “get me.”

I’m having a cocktail party for all of my female friends.

The sticking point

I have ADHD. I absolutely suck at organizing.

What does one do when she wants to throw a cocktail party in high style but lacks much in the way of organization?  (and skills.)

She buys invitations that are waaaaay classier than she is.

Enter Anagram Interactive

This website, hands-down has the most gorgeous invites I have ever seen.

I am not talking about hosting a Facebook Event here.

I want to have a custom, beautiful, SPECIAL event to celebrate the fabulous females in my life.

Just a few easy steps:

  1. Set up an account on Paperless Post. (They will give you 25 coins to start!)

  2. Browse the extensive collection of birthday cards, invites, business cards and all manner of beautiful “virtual” stationary. Choose your favorite design.

    paperless post

  3. Customize your card and wording.

    shine a spotlight on the people that matter to you

  4. Send and manage your event from your custom event page.

    how to shine a spotlight on the people that matter to you

Really, it is that simple.

And the designs are from some seriously amazing creators including Oscar de la Renta, Kelly Wearstler, and Kate Spade New York.

paperless post

Adorable Holiday Invite Example

wedding invite from paperless post


I am OBSESSED. Can you tell?

Paperless Post will wow your guests.





Here is my finished invite.

how to shine a spotlight on the people that matter to you

This cocktail party is my way of showing my girlfriends I value them in my life. It’s the least I could do for the women that do so much for me.

Show your friends how much they mean to you, and you will never regret it.

Other ideas for how to shine a spotlight on the people that matter to you:

  • Pick up the phone. Yes, it is old-fashioned, but there is nothing like hearing their voice.

  • Hand write a short note telling someone how much they mean to you.

  • Send a small package of things that remind you of adventures you had together. For example, a photo from Vegas with some ibuprofen and a bottle of water.

  • Send fresh flowers. What doesn’t enjoy a colorful bouquet?

This quote says what I am trying to say – but sooo much more eloquently.

“Women understand. We may share experiences, make jokes, paint pictures, and describe humiliations that mean nothing to men, but women understand. “   -Gloria Steinem

Interested in making some new friends?
The kind of people that actually, “get you?”

Join Coaching Corner and get access to small group support, accountability, and a ton of laughs.


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